Bowl’d Over

November 25, 2013 | 0 Comments | Filed under: 2013, December 2013

A health warning; do not assume from the following that all bowlers are sex offenders … oops, sorry did I make you drop your G&T or ice-cold meths or spill your real ale? I quote from the Guardian via the New Statesman to authenticate content not illustrate how well read & informed I pretend to be.

‘HMP Bure, an English prison specialising in holding & treating sex offenders, has so many prisoners over the age of 50 that it has 26 teams competing in its bowls club, jail inspectors have revealed.’ I would like to point out that you, who are tempted to bowl in Tidza, don’t have to be over 50 to play.

I wrote in the last edition about Mr. T winning ‘The Roll a £1 Coin’ at our annual dinner with his radio controlled coin and that he’d be off to The Yorkshire Bridge clutching his £20 voucher in his grubby mitt. I forgot to say that there were so many volunteers to get him there that he could’ve had more chauffeurs than the royal household – he doesn’t drive. However, he took his mum and dad and they had a right royal repast – commonly known as a slap up meal. Had I still had the ‘Crap-Wagon’ I could’ve given him a lift!

And now something about short mat bowling – we compete against other clubs &, so far, apart from being royally (please not more royalty) stuffed by Bakewell we are a formidable team. However, revenge was sweet when they came to play us & we won by a sliver of 12 points.

Now a ‘crie de coer’, a cry from my heart; you read about it, & some of you say that you enjoy the read, so come to school to do indoor short mat from 6.30pm on Fri. evenings. Play your cards (bowls) right & you could get a mention in the ‘Ten Worst Indoor Bowling Excuses.’




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